Hi Everyone!
Alhumdulillah I just had my baat pakki done 2 weeks ago and I'm in desperate need of help/guidance..I'm so so so Sorry for this long post!!
Here's a bit about us; We've been together for 5 years and met through mutual friends, he is an amazing guy and we're both able to be completely honest and are great friends who also are in love. We're 3 years apart in age.. I dont have siblings, he has a younger sister and an older sister (married). We're all in Canada & his parents are in UAE (they visit Canada). My dad passed away when I was 16 yrs old so its just me and mom, we make a great team and I love her with all my heart.
I always imagined having a baat pakki done at home (in Canada with family members) with some mithai feeding, dua, a bit of traditional rasams and a simple dawat:chai:.
However my baat pakki happened very unexpectedly & I feel as if I have missed out:hinna:? In August His parents best friends visited Canada & met me for coffee, they were very pleasant ..My Fiance(?) went to UAE for a short trip and came back with a gorgeous suit that they gifted me and I was very thankful & called them to show gratitude. His mom wanted them to meet me so they could "Aazma ke dekhna". A few days before i went on vacation (2 weeks ago) he and I had a discussion regarding how we want to approach our parents in terms of baat pakki, I didn't think much of it since we've spoken a lot about having our parents meet for the past few years (it just never happened due to his parents short visits/ my mom busy working) and I just assumed he brought up this topic just to get my point of view:bukbuk2:. In the past his parents have visited the U.S. for business purposes and asked to meet me, I wasn't too keen on crossing the border to meet his parents without my mom with me, I felt like it would deprive my mom of being part of something important, so I politely explained this to my now-fiance (?).
So, my mother and I were on a 2 week vacation in Europe & UAE (1 week each destination). While we were in Europe He skyped my mom and asked for permission to have his parents/family contact my mom regarding my hand in marriage:clap:. I loved the fact that he called my mom and poured his heart out (as respectfully possible and it was adorable seeing him shy away but also muster up the courage to get his point across):cheer:. Of course my mom, funny as she is, probed him to tell her why he wants to get married to me, and it ended up with laughs, tears of joy on both sides and ultimately my mom gave her approval.
The next day his Dadi (the eldest) and Phupoo (in PK) called and spoke to my mom & requested we detour the vacation to PK so we can meet and have a grand rasam (as the Larki wale we were hesitant as it doesn't look good that; "the girl is flying across the ocean to see the guys family" it seemed like a desperate approach on my end and could result in backfiring "koi bhi kuch bhi keh sakta hai ke itni jaldi kyoon hai" you know?:konfused: plus we weren't prepared and didnt pack Suits/ jewellery. It seemed quite odd for me to do in my opinion.) We politely told them it isn't possible (as we're flying from europe to UAE the next day and only have single-entry- which is true) and we'll plan a proper trip to PK in 2015. His Dadi and phupoo they gave the green light and advised us that the Grooms parents will be contacting us shortly. My mom and I then consulted with the elders in my family and we seeked their consent to proceed, My family was excited and happy. As a back-up my mom bought me 2 gold rings from Europe incase something happens fast and I need a ring (2 rings so he can choose whichever one he wants to 'give' me), as we didn't want to burden anyone. His parents and older sister flew to PK because they wanted to spend Eid with his Dadi & Thats when we arrived in UAE. My fiance (does baat pakki make you fiance's?) flew to PK to visit his Dadi to thank her for initiating the baat pakki, and he later joined me on our vacation in UAE. His mom contacted my mom over the phone and they discussed baat pakki and "bache khush hain to hum khush hain" and gave her word to us and stated that they've started telling their side of the family "ke baat pakki hogayi hai". And his mom told my mom that we can also tell my side of family that baat is pakki.
My Fiance invited us over for simple dinner before we go out to explore the city as we were flying to Canada that same night. His parents Friends presented me with gifts from his mom (Diamond earrings, Swarovski jewellery, Joras, Perfumes, flowers and chocolates...Totally unexpected..I'd wear them even if they weren't my taste because I've learned a lot of 'Donts' from Guppans -- see, you guys are great!) and all of a sudden pics are being taken (I was wearing jeans and a top!):smack2: lol Definitely not prepared. This was just supposed to be a quick bite before we go to the mall and I was wearing the same clothes I was going to travel in. While we were still at his place He called his mom and our moms spoke over th phone (our moms get along great). I've always been socially awkward :ahaa:(I never know what to say, i smile a lot when I'm nervous, so I spoke to his mom for the first time on the phone (She has known abt me for 5 years-- I've met most of his cousins in canada- He has never met my family aside from my Mom). I thanked her and told her it really was not necessary and that I wished she was here in person. I did most of the talking, she was giggling (we were both nervous.. it was cute).
His parents' bestfriends said his mom had prepped everything before she left for PK in case our baat got pakki while we were in UAE. My fiance then told me his mom already bought a baat pakki diamond ring in PK and wanted to meet me in November in the U.S. as she'll be there for business.
So I'm driving to N.Y. end of Nov to meet my future-mother-in-law, as she's unable to come to Canada.
And thats how we got Baat pakki-fied!
How did your Baat Pakki happen?
Do people do baat pakki's like this via phone/ so last minute?
Am I considered engaged? Isn't mangni a different thing?
I don't know what to wear when I go meet her in N.Y. for one day. Any Western clothing Suggestions? Do I bring something? What do I say?:help:
We're making up for the hasty Baat Pakki by planning out an engagment party in a couple of months (as my entire family is shocked that I went on vacation single, and returned engaged). I'll most likely open another thread for engagement process/ideas/my dilemmas/ where do I start.
I'm really sorry for the long post guys!:what:
Alhumdulillah I just had my baat pakki done 2 weeks ago and I'm in desperate need of help/guidance..I'm so so so Sorry for this long post!!
Here's a bit about us; We've been together for 5 years and met through mutual friends, he is an amazing guy and we're both able to be completely honest and are great friends who also are in love. We're 3 years apart in age.. I dont have siblings, he has a younger sister and an older sister (married). We're all in Canada & his parents are in UAE (they visit Canada). My dad passed away when I was 16 yrs old so its just me and mom, we make a great team and I love her with all my heart.
I always imagined having a baat pakki done at home (in Canada with family members) with some mithai feeding, dua, a bit of traditional rasams and a simple dawat:chai:.
However my baat pakki happened very unexpectedly & I feel as if I have missed out:hinna:? In August His parents best friends visited Canada & met me for coffee, they were very pleasant ..My Fiance(?) went to UAE for a short trip and came back with a gorgeous suit that they gifted me and I was very thankful & called them to show gratitude. His mom wanted them to meet me so they could "Aazma ke dekhna". A few days before i went on vacation (2 weeks ago) he and I had a discussion regarding how we want to approach our parents in terms of baat pakki, I didn't think much of it since we've spoken a lot about having our parents meet for the past few years (it just never happened due to his parents short visits/ my mom busy working) and I just assumed he brought up this topic just to get my point of view:bukbuk2:. In the past his parents have visited the U.S. for business purposes and asked to meet me, I wasn't too keen on crossing the border to meet his parents without my mom with me, I felt like it would deprive my mom of being part of something important, so I politely explained this to my now-fiance (?).
So, my mother and I were on a 2 week vacation in Europe & UAE (1 week each destination). While we were in Europe He skyped my mom and asked for permission to have his parents/family contact my mom regarding my hand in marriage:clap:. I loved the fact that he called my mom and poured his heart out (as respectfully possible and it was adorable seeing him shy away but also muster up the courage to get his point across):cheer:. Of course my mom, funny as she is, probed him to tell her why he wants to get married to me, and it ended up with laughs, tears of joy on both sides and ultimately my mom gave her approval.
The next day his Dadi (the eldest) and Phupoo (in PK) called and spoke to my mom & requested we detour the vacation to PK so we can meet and have a grand rasam (as the Larki wale we were hesitant as it doesn't look good that; "the girl is flying across the ocean to see the guys family" it seemed like a desperate approach on my end and could result in backfiring "koi bhi kuch bhi keh sakta hai ke itni jaldi kyoon hai" you know?:konfused: plus we weren't prepared and didnt pack Suits/ jewellery. It seemed quite odd for me to do in my opinion.) We politely told them it isn't possible (as we're flying from europe to UAE the next day and only have single-entry- which is true) and we'll plan a proper trip to PK in 2015. His Dadi and phupoo they gave the green light and advised us that the Grooms parents will be contacting us shortly. My mom and I then consulted with the elders in my family and we seeked their consent to proceed, My family was excited and happy. As a back-up my mom bought me 2 gold rings from Europe incase something happens fast and I need a ring (2 rings so he can choose whichever one he wants to 'give' me), as we didn't want to burden anyone. His parents and older sister flew to PK because they wanted to spend Eid with his Dadi & Thats when we arrived in UAE. My fiance (does baat pakki make you fiance's?) flew to PK to visit his Dadi to thank her for initiating the baat pakki, and he later joined me on our vacation in UAE. His mom contacted my mom over the phone and they discussed baat pakki and "bache khush hain to hum khush hain" and gave her word to us and stated that they've started telling their side of the family "ke baat pakki hogayi hai". And his mom told my mom that we can also tell my side of family that baat is pakki.
My Fiance invited us over for simple dinner before we go out to explore the city as we were flying to Canada that same night. His parents Friends presented me with gifts from his mom (Diamond earrings, Swarovski jewellery, Joras, Perfumes, flowers and chocolates...Totally unexpected..I'd wear them even if they weren't my taste because I've learned a lot of 'Donts' from Guppans -- see, you guys are great!) and all of a sudden pics are being taken (I was wearing jeans and a top!):smack2: lol Definitely not prepared. This was just supposed to be a quick bite before we go to the mall and I was wearing the same clothes I was going to travel in. While we were still at his place He called his mom and our moms spoke over th phone (our moms get along great). I've always been socially awkward :ahaa:(I never know what to say, i smile a lot when I'm nervous, so I spoke to his mom for the first time on the phone (She has known abt me for 5 years-- I've met most of his cousins in canada- He has never met my family aside from my Mom). I thanked her and told her it really was not necessary and that I wished she was here in person. I did most of the talking, she was giggling (we were both nervous.. it was cute).
His parents' bestfriends said his mom had prepped everything before she left for PK in case our baat got pakki while we were in UAE. My fiance then told me his mom already bought a baat pakki diamond ring in PK and wanted to meet me in November in the U.S. as she'll be there for business.
So I'm driving to N.Y. end of Nov to meet my future-mother-in-law, as she's unable to come to Canada.
And thats how we got Baat pakki-fied!
How did your Baat Pakki happen?
Do people do baat pakki's like this via phone/ so last minute?
Am I considered engaged? Isn't mangni a different thing?
I don't know what to wear when I go meet her in N.Y. for one day. Any Western clothing Suggestions? Do I bring something? What do I say?:help:
We're making up for the hasty Baat Pakki by planning out an engagment party in a couple of months (as my entire family is shocked that I went on vacation single, and returned engaged). I'll most likely open another thread for engagement process/ideas/my dilemmas/ where do I start.
I'm really sorry for the long post guys!:what: