Hey guys! This is gonna be super long ( cause you have to know the back story or whatever..) but yeah.
I'm an 18 year old 3/4 kashmiri, 1/4 bosnian girl living in America with only my mom, dad, my 3 sisters, and my 2 brothers ( like no other cousins or relatives here). About a year ago, my parents were going to marry my older sister (age 23) to my older cousin (age 25), but we went to Pakistan last year for the first time in 10 years, and my cousin hadn't seen any of us since then, so he had no clue what we looked like, just that my sister was pale, tall, and had really nice eyes. So yeah, we go, and he realizes that my sister doesn't look anything like he imagined, nor does she act like he imagined. We stayed there for a couple more months, and about a month before we leave, my cousin comes to our house and literally begs my dad to marry me, and my dad says, you have to ask her, and at the moment, I was feeling super pressured (cause my parents love this cousin of mine, like probably even more than me) and I just said yes, and the next week his family arranged for there to be a huge mangni ceremony or whatever, and they brought a whole bunch of very expensive gifts, so I was excited, and didn't really care about anything. So we returned to America, and I kept maybe 2 times a week contact with this guy, and just a month ago, one of my aunts told me that she saw him with this girl at a mall, and my cousin (on the other side of my family) said the same thing. I decided to look into it, and found out that he planned to divorce me after we got married and he came to America, and then he'd bring his "girlfriend" here. I confronted him about it, and he denied all of it, but asked me if I'd ever be okay to him having two wives, and I straight up said no.
So I'd like your opinions on what I should do.. Personally, I don't like the whole idea of marrying between first cousins, but its a custom in Pakstani culture, and its what my parents think is the best choice. I also am really insecure about the fact that he might get another wife, and I'll be left 😔 but I mean, as a person he is nice, and I guess he looks okay (not like the typical fobby pakistani guy)... Meh. Should I continue in the marriage process or crush my moms dreams of what her grandchildren will look like ? 😓😩
I'm an 18 year old 3/4 kashmiri, 1/4 bosnian girl living in America with only my mom, dad, my 3 sisters, and my 2 brothers ( like no other cousins or relatives here). About a year ago, my parents were going to marry my older sister (age 23) to my older cousin (age 25), but we went to Pakistan last year for the first time in 10 years, and my cousin hadn't seen any of us since then, so he had no clue what we looked like, just that my sister was pale, tall, and had really nice eyes. So yeah, we go, and he realizes that my sister doesn't look anything like he imagined, nor does she act like he imagined. We stayed there for a couple more months, and about a month before we leave, my cousin comes to our house and literally begs my dad to marry me, and my dad says, you have to ask her, and at the moment, I was feeling super pressured (cause my parents love this cousin of mine, like probably even more than me) and I just said yes, and the next week his family arranged for there to be a huge mangni ceremony or whatever, and they brought a whole bunch of very expensive gifts, so I was excited, and didn't really care about anything. So we returned to America, and I kept maybe 2 times a week contact with this guy, and just a month ago, one of my aunts told me that she saw him with this girl at a mall, and my cousin (on the other side of my family) said the same thing. I decided to look into it, and found out that he planned to divorce me after we got married and he came to America, and then he'd bring his "girlfriend" here. I confronted him about it, and he denied all of it, but asked me if I'd ever be okay to him having two wives, and I straight up said no.
So I'd like your opinions on what I should do.. Personally, I don't like the whole idea of marrying between first cousins, but its a custom in Pakstani culture, and its what my parents think is the best choice. I also am really insecure about the fact that he might get another wife, and I'll be left 😔 but I mean, as a person he is nice, and I guess he looks okay (not like the typical fobby pakistani guy)... Meh. Should I continue in the marriage process or crush my moms dreams of what her grandchildren will look like ? 😓😩